Okay, no one I know...knows about this blog .. so I can just dump this out here to internet nowhere land. . Who would care anyway.. I am depressed.. not in a clinical way.. I don't think. I manage my life. Keep myself going.. I'm just discussed with where I am.. I'm over sixty.. married to many years. And disgusted with how this life is going. In the past 3 years I have lost so many friends and relatives I can hardly want to remember the number. The names and what I miss float by in sadness. My husband has no understanding of loss.. He is cold and distant all the time.. Self centered and He is stingy to extreme.. I bought lunch at Chick-fil-a and he questioned the amount and was it really necessary . Yes, it was .. I needed to get out of the house.. Away from my home that feels like a prison. I am not allowed to change or remove anything .. or bring anything different in without a battle royal.. If I could find a way to support myself .. I would walk at this point.. maybe I'd run and hid somewhere else.. My determination is to out last him.. even though this is tough.. I am tougher.. Someday things will be different.